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Isn’t gardening supposed to be soothing?
I purchased some lovely statuary for my vast estate. When I brought them home, my loneliness melted away. OH! Well, um. Thanks for the complement. But, you see, I’m married. Very happily, and… How...
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What to do if your colleague won’t let you get any work done.
Is someone trying to distract you? I have a “colleague” who won’t let me work. She constantly asks to play games. So I gave her a job. Now that she’s CEO of Security, I’m getting a LOT more work done....
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You want me to do WHAT in public?
We just spent a week vacationing at “the shore,” and I learned some VERY odd things. First of all, Carmen won’t talk about my future… unless I pay her money. Does that seem wrong to you? I gave Carmen...
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On the Boardwalk, you’re never bored.
Our national anthem plays every morning on the Boardwalk at Ocean City, NJ. And every morning, people stop, put their hands over the hearts, and listen. It’s a beautiful, beautiful thing. Every time I...
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First day of school…
My high school kid started school today. In honor of this monumental occasion, I ate a ton of candy last night. I can’t understand why my kid was so embarrassed when I dropped her off at school. . This...
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Why my kids shouldn’t read my blog
If you are my child, STOP reading my blog. Because today I’m talking about my addiction to porn. Yes. I. Love. Porn. There. I said it. Don’t judge. And you love porn, too. Especially food porn. And if...
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My husband sleeps in the garden.
I have a terrible problem. I don’t think it’s weird to fantasize about a statue. I mean, Michelangelo’s David is downright handsome. Okay. Maybe this whole statue thing is weird, so I’m gonna switch...
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Best things, EVER!
It’s about time we do a “Best Ever” post, right? Here is something for the Art Historians in the audience: After I saw the mer-horse-maid, I was inspired. I ran home and made mashed cheese and...
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I’ll give you free air if you don’t wear pants.
In honor of 2016, we are offering something VERY valuable… Please dress appropriately when you cross the street to get your air… In other words, wear too-long sleeves, no pants, and a top hat. While...
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Strange animal encounters
I saw him right after I parked. I tried not to stare, but I couldn’t stop myself. He was handsome, with just enough gray to look weathered and wise. I drooled at him until he caught me looking. He...
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